Oprah's Secret Talent Is Poop Stain Removal

I’ve learned so much here today.

Ok, first here’s some background info: Vanity Fair does this video series highlighting secret talents of famous people. Most of these people show off um, talents. Like for example, Emma Stone is good at the pogo stick.

But for some reason (that I admire greatly) Oprah’s secret talent is cleaning up dog poop. And she is so enthusiastic about poop stain removal that I’m almost wishing a dog would come and shit all over my carpet just so I can clean it up and be like Oprah.

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When Oprah proudly announces her secret talent:

When Oprah proudly announces her secret talent:

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When she admits she didn’t bring her own poop! WOMP!!!

When she admits she didn't bring her own poop! WOMP!!!

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When she uses gravy as a poop replacement, which actually works great because it mimics the consistency of ~diarrhea~. A word that I’ve now heard come out of Oprah’s mouth.

When she uses gravy as a poop replacement, which actually works great because it mimics the consistency of ~diarrhea~. A word that I've now heard come out of Oprah's mouth.

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When she can’t contain her joy over the first pour of club soda.

When she can't contain her joy over the first pour of club soda.

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When the club soda bubbles and Oprah is excittteeeeeeddddd!!!!!

When the club soda bubbles and Oprah is excittteeeeeeddddd!!!!!

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When Oprah says poo again.

When Oprah says poo again.

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WHEN SHE’S LOVIN’ THAT LAST POUR OF CLUB SODA!!!!

WHEN SHE'S LOVIN' THAT LAST POUR OF CLUB SODA!!!!

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And finally: Happy Oprah, when the poop stain has been removed and the carpet circle is cleaner than ever before.

And finally: Happy Oprah, when the poop stain has been removed and the carpet circle is cleaner than ever before.

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