I Saw These Pictures Of Darren Criss And Basically Dropped Dead, Don't Say I Didn't Warn You

Yes Darren, my face is red. Now what?

So there I was, just scrolling through Instagram and minding my own business, when I died. I just dropped dead.

So there I was, just scrolling through Instagram and minding my own business, when I died. I just dropped dead.

Don’t ask me how I’m writing this or we’ll get sidetracked. Just go with it, OK?

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Now there’s no need to get your Sherlock Holmes hat on, because I already know who killed me. It was Darren Criss. Specifically this picture of Darren Criss.

Honestly arrest this picture and throw away the key, it’s a danger to society.

instagram.com

So after I died, I decided to do some investigating into how my life could just suddenly end like that, and I found a small video. I pressed play. And I died again.

Twice in one day really is unfortunate, but Jesus fucking Christ it was worth it.

Instagram: @esquire

And I won’t lie, now that I’m 24 I think the love has returned along with a bucketload of thirst and unholy thoughts.

Instagram: @darrencriss

Because I mean… just look at his face.

Instagram: @gq

OK, it’s hard to look at him for more than five seconds without fainting, but try anyway!

Instagram: @darrencriss

Maybe it’s the beard. The beard is pretty great.

Instagram: @darrencriss

Or is it his smile, because that’s also v v cute.

Instagram: @darrencriss

The expression “what that tongue do” was created after someone saw this picture tbh.

Instagram: @darrencriss

And what’s better than a picture of Darren Criss? A picture of Darren Criss with Ricky Martin, that’s what.

I will happily go and hang out in the middle of them both.

Instagram: @darrencriss

Because in case you didn’t know, the two of them are now starring in the new TV show The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story.

Instagram: @darrencriss

Unfortunately we can’t really think that Darren’s hot in this, even though he is, because he plays a murderer and that’s kinda* problematic.

Unfortunately we can't really think that Darren's hot in this, even though he is, because he plays a murderer and that's kinda* problematic.

*OK very problematic.

FX

But fortunately he seems like a much nicer guy IRL, so we’ll cling to that instead.

Instagram: @darrencriss

Anyway, I’ve spent far too long chit-chatting. After all, I’m meant to be dead so yeah, RIP me. BYE!

Anyway, I've spent far too long chit-chatting. After all, I'm meant to be dead so yeah, RIP me. BYE!

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