Astrologically Speaking, "The Bachelor" Plot Twist Tooooootally Makes Sense

Was this whole thing written in the stars?

As everyone who pledges allegiance to Bachelor Nation knows, gaping butthole of a man Arie Luyyendwhatever Jr. called off his engagement with Becca K. to be with Lauren B. A true TRA-👏 -VE-👏 -STY. 👏

As everyone who pledges allegiance to Bachelor Nation knows, gaping butthole of a man Arie Luyyendwhatever Jr. called off his engagement with Becca K. to be with Lauren B. A true TRA-👏 -VE-👏 -STY. 👏

ABC

Well, I’ve consulted the stars about this one, and lemme tell ya: IT. ALL. MAKES. SENSE.

Well, I've consulted the stars about this one, and lemme tell ya: IT. ALL. MAKES. SENSE.

It me.

Instagram: @astro_mami

First of all, Arie here is a Virgo.

First of all, Arie here is a Virgo.

Positive traits: Analytical, kind, hardworking, practical
Negative traits: Shy, overly critical, picky, anxious

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His almost-bride-to-be, Becca, is an Aries.

His almost-bride-to-be, Becca, is an Aries.

Positive traits: Energetic, active, courageous, enterprising
Negative traits: Egotistical, impatient, proud, short-tempered

abc.go.com

And Lauren, the runner up and ~other woman~, is a Scorpio.

And Lauren, the runner up and ~other woman~, is a Scorpio.

Positive traits: Passionate, resourceful, brave, intense
Negative traits: Jealous, secretive, untrusting, conniving

abc.go.com

Let’s talk about WHY all this makes sense, shall we?

Let's talk about WHY all this makes sense, shall we?

ABC / Via otrc.com

Being a Virgo, Arie probably picked Becca because he saw her as the “practical” option, given that, on paper, she seemed like his “ideal woman”. (Which let’s recognize as FUCKED UP.)

ABC

However, Arie was always going on about how attracted he was to Lauren, a Scorpio. Interestingly, each sign is ruled by a part of the body, and Scorpio just so happens to be ruled by the GENITALS. Funny how Arie seems to be ruled by his even though he’s a Virgo!!!

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With that being said, a Virgo-Scorpio union DOES make a lot of sense…

With that being said, a Virgo-Scorpio union DOES make a lot of sense...

Virgos and Scorpz are both extremely deep thinkers and very tactile. They have a lot of soul, and seem to have some sort of ~unspoken connection~ which was clear given the, uh, simple vernacular they engaged in when together.

ABC

…and in a Virgo-Aries relationship, Virgo would have all the power. :/

...and in a Virgo-Aries relationship, Virgo would have all the power. :/

Since Virgos are more pragmatic than Arians, they usually have more leverage in the relationship. And while there can be immediate magnetism at first, the length of the relationship in uncertain. This was sadly proven true by last night’s “unedited, real time” footage.

ABC

But now the question is, will our scorned Scorp Lauren take back Arie after he left her for another woman?! Scorpios are famous for holding grudges… and getting revenge.

But now the question is, will our scorned Scorp Lauren take back Arie after he left her for another woman?! Scorpios are famous for holding grudges... and getting revenge.

ABC

Honestly though, if I was reading Lauren’s cards going into tonight’s episode…

Honestly though, if I was reading Lauren's cards going into tonight's episode...

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